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July 18, 2010 / fruitloopmum

Beware your pre-schooler’s definition of news!

I am all for encouraging our adorable little pre-schoolers to participate in ‘news time’ or ‘show and tell’ at pre-school. It develops their confidence and must sometimes provide the teachers with much-needed light entertainment. But have you ever given a thought as to the type of information your pre-schooler might categorise as news?

An innocent exchange with one of the staff at our pre-school last week has left me both enthralled but completely paranoid. It’s given cause for great mirth and speculation in our small community….because, of course I had to share the hilarious little nugget of information I had obtained with a few mums after drop-off.

Cutting to the chase, the story goes like this…..

After a few morning pleasantries, one of the pre-school staff  asked  how my work was progressing. She showed unusually detailed knowledge, then followed it with the comment “Oh yes, we now know all about your book and why you want it published under a pseudonym”

I smiled politely. Please god she didn‘t know why I thought a pseudonym was a good idea…. “Really?” I managed to choke, wondering how the information of the slightly racy content of my work may have inexplicably escaped from my laptop. “We were given a little ‘synopsis’ by your daughter at news time this week!”

At this point, I heaved a sigh of relief. My daughter cannot yet read further than D-O-G. The detailed content of my writing was obviously pretty safe. I would have to investigate my 5 year-old’s little synopsis further once I got her home. I decided to steer the conversation away from myself just to be on the safe side. “I bet you get some great stories from these little ones don’t you?”

“Oh yes, quite hysterical. Last week one of the boys stood up in front of class. His parents obviously hadn’t helped him prepare for his news slot, and so for a moment he was a bit stuck, just standing there racking his brains for a topic. Then suddenly his little eyes lit up, and he blurted out…..This morning, my daddy had a shower……and you know what? He has an enormous willy!”

“Oh my god” I laughed, “Which little boy was it?”

The teacher gave a wry smile, “Now, that would be indiscrete, wouldn’t it?”

Suffice to say, there is much speculation among the mum’s at pre-school as to the identity of this child and the staff are quite rightly staying tight-lipped. However, I’m sure that eventually my daughter will voluntarily divulge all. Just so long as it’s not about me.

Note to self: Remember to  help my children prepare their news from now on….oh, and lock the bathroom door!

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