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November 21, 2010 / fruitloopmum

Guilty as charged?

Hey, I’ve just read a blog about mums who when they’re playing with their kids feel guilty about not having done the housework, and then when they’re doing the housework, feel guilty that they’re not playing with their kids……Sound familiar?

It reminded me of the time in my life when I was a career woman with two kids at home being brought up by a succession of nannies. It reminded me of the crushing guilt that I felt because I wasn’t the one to tend their scraped knees, make them eat their greens and snuggle them whilst watching children’s hour. I paid someone else to do that, and the guilt I felt was terrible.

It reminded me of the London grandma I once knew who took care of her daughter’s children whilst the daughter worked. That grandma would wait until grandpa had left for work then she and the children would secretly roll back the lounge room carpet. Then grandma would wheel in a barrow of sand from the yard and they’d play beaches on the floorboards until it was time for grandpa to come home. When I asked her one day if she was completely bonkers she just replied “No, just a guilty mother trying to make amends”

You see guilt and mothering seem to go together like bread and butter. We all feel guilty about something we should have done or shouldn’t have done.

I am very grateful to all the women of my mother’s generation who fought for the equal rights of women. But I am eternally grateful for the choice that I had with my second brood. This time I had the privilege of being able to choose to either continue with my career, or stay at home and raise my children. And, this time I chose to stay at home (at least until they start school).

I’m older and wiser now. For me, raising my children has been an exhausting, dirty, thankless but exhilarating and joyous experience. Each to their own, and yep, I know that it’s not everyone’s choice or indeed privilege to be able to do so. But I know that it was the right choice for me and my children.

So…does Fruitloopmum do guilt?

Absolutely, cos it goes with the territory!

But you know what?

No-one ever laid on their deathbed wishing that they’d made more time in their life for doing the bloody laundry. Right?

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