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June 15, 2011 / fruitloopmum

Strippers, Teachers, Pirates and Judges

Oh yes….the perfect ingredients for a party!

Can you tell from the subject matter that I’m back Fruitloopmum fans?

Vodka Jelly Shots...mmm

I mentioned in my last post that I’d moved house. Well, last week, when I finally got to the point where I wasn’t tripping over unpacked boxes on the way to the bathroom, AND I could find my underwear without having to rummage through two carrier bags and a suitcase, I decided to invite my new neighbours over.

I’m a lovely, neighbourly kinda girl, and to be honest, I really don’t need too much of an excuse to socialise. So, I duly popped some carefully worded little notes into my immediate neighbours mailboxes and invited them over for drinks to say hi.

AND then I decided to invite some friends too, just for good measure. Now, anyone that reads my blog on a regular basis might be able to deduce that a Fruitloopmum might just have what could only politely be described as a rather eclectic group of friends. OH YEAH! and I love them all.

So, I sorta lost count of the number of friends that I’d casually invited to come over last week. But when Saturday arrived, boy did we have an interesting time! For a start, I thought it was a good idea to invite Errol. Errol sings a mean version of Land Down Under….reggae style….absolutely hysterical (and I’ve even paid for a link…click here 07 Land Down Under and listen up to something a bit special!). So Errol turned up with some mates and set up his steel drums in the front room. I also had a real life pirate as a house guest (no joke) who set-to helping out pirate-style and mixing the most awesome barrel or two of blow-your-head-off mojitos.

Errol sings for the judge

The neighbours turned up…mostly early, and mostly elderly, and the pirate plied them with mojitos and some dubious tales of the sea. Then all the friends arrived and the next thing I know is I’m standing making very polite conversation and jigging about reggae style with some neighbours I’ve never met, who are asking me what I do for a living.

“Well, I’m a writer” I say standing there in my little red party dress and extremely high heels (any excuse cos it’s normally thongs)

“Ooooh take NO NOTICE of HER!!” came a rather slurry voice from behind me.

I turn, and it’s my lovely, gorgeous, friend the school teacher. Only at that point, her 6 year old pupils wouldn’t recognise her. Teachers pupils are looking… decidedly dodgy. Actually I swear her eyes were going in different directions at that point…something to do with the pirate’s mojitos I suspect. Then she dealt the clincher…

“She’s not really a writer at all…she’s a STRIPPPPPPER!”

The neighbours choked on their cocktails as I hauled her away and tried to amuse her elsewhere with some amazing jelly shots. Trouble was, that in my little red dress and heels among the conservative, quiet neighbours..I could easily carry off the stripper tag. A little later, and way before midnight, one of the older neighbours bade me farewell and I walked him to the door.

“So very nice to meet you. You are a simply lovely girl and you have some wonderful friends. Thank you so much for inviting me, I’m sure we shall catch up again soon”

Did he have a bit of a twinkle in his eye I wondered? No, probably just those pirate mojitos.

Well anyway, that sweet neighbour called me a few days after the party to thank me AGAIN for inviting him (I’d put my number on the invites) WOW, he must have REALLY enjoyed himself I thought…ahhh bless. Note to self: remember to invite him to the next get-together, maybe he doesn’t get out much.

AND Fruitloopmum fans…I’m sure you can guess what’s coming next. You remember I live in a small community?  Well, today I took a call from someone who lives on the other side of town. We’re talking at least 20kms away.

“I hear you had a few cocktails with the neighbours last week”

“Yes, I thought I’d get to know them, so I invited them over…how do YOU know about it???”

“The High Court Judge is a friend of my mothers….”

“What bloody High Court Judge?”

(pause here)

“The one that thinks you’re a stripper!!”

Honestly, FLM couldn’t make THIS up.

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