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April 24, 2012 / fruitloopmum

Squeals from the toilet!?

There I was, pottering around the room, minding my own business and unpacking when I heard a most unnatural squeal from the toilet…..

WTF?

Startled, I dropped my bag on the bed in alarm.

My man had disappeared into “the little boys room” of our hotel suite a few minutes before and firmly closed the door behind him.

I stood rooted to the spot for a moment with some very weird and unnatural thoughts running through my head. We wont go there ok?

When I managed to gain my composure and voice, I shuffled closer to the closed toilet door and  prepared to shoulder it open in case of emergency. The conversation through the closed-door went something like this….

Fruitloopmum: Urm….are you OK?

My Man: Whoa!

This was followed my more strange noises emanating from the toilet……a sort of combo of shuffling, grunting and gasps.

Fruitloopmum (louder now): ARE YOU OK???

My Man: Geeze….I think you’d better come look at this!

Well…..I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Had the man suddenly discovered something in his pants never before encountered?

Was his appendage covered in a nasty rash? Had it swollen to an enormous size and gone a strange colour?

God forbid it was the back bottom that he wanted me to come look at…..I mean, pleeease!

Had he discovered a bad case of worms or something? Oh yeah, and we all know that everyone checks the size and consistency of their poos before they flush….Nooooooooo I really DID NOT want to come and see, no matter how spectacular!

Fruitloopmum (now feeling quite queasy): WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO COME LOOK AT????

At this point, the toilet door was opened and my man  appeared with a triumphant, pleased look on his face. I feared the worst.

My Man: You just HAVE to see this, it’s awesome!

He stepped to one side and waved his hand towards the toilet behind him as though introducing someone……..I gulped and held my breath as I peeked beyond his extended arm into the toilet.

I stared, mouth open whilst he ran through a list of attributes:

“Back AND front bottom”

“Wand”

“Jets”

“Blow-dry madame?”

Fruitloopmum: Get outta my way!! I’m going in now, and don’t expect me to be out any time soon!”

Techno loos with magic wands that spray temperature controlled water on your bits? and then blow on them???

OH YEAH…..!!

And just in case you think I make these posts up…..absolutely NOT!

Post Script: Thank you Hotel Nikko Saigon for a most memorable stay. Fruitloopmum will be back for sure!

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