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May 18, 2012 / fruitloopmum

Accountants in Gimp Masks!!?

OK, since the Strippers, Teachers, Pirates and Judges post,  you’re probably all aware that Fruitloopmum friends are what could only be described as an eclectic bunch of weirdos, bless them.  But this week, I’m gonna spill the beans on my weirdo accountant friend.

You see, I’ve been threatening to expose him for far too long. In fact I’ve been making threats ever since he termed the word GILF to describe me to his mates. I mean, GILF???? if your brain even goes there you can’t be quite right upstairs can you?? And this one’s definitely not quite right.

The man has a wicked sense of humour and just loves to bait people. But just for once, Fruitloopmum is gonna give some back on behalf of his long-suffering wife and friends. You see for starters, this is the guy who took his dog to the vet late one night because the dog was walking in a peculiar fashion. The vets prognosis was….. that his dog had an enormous stiffy and charged the guy $80 for that prognosis. I mean, come on Mr P… do know what a stiffy looks like don’t you???? Apparently, the whole embarrassing, expensive episode was his wife’s fault!!! ……don’t ask… However, I have advised that in future, should her husband come anywhere near the marital bed with an unwanted stiffy, she should call the vet immediately.

Anyways, back to the point of the story. I recently decided that it was probably time for me to consider something horribly normal and prepare a tax return. So, over dinner last week whilst laughing and discussing the dubious sanity of running 100kms in the pitch dark through the bush to save an extinct species ( yep he did it) And why he thinks that only gay guys drive small cars (yep he said it to someone who’d just bought a small car), I asked how much he’d charge me to prepare my tax return………

And the weirdo’s response???

“Just bring around your paperwork…….and a GIMP MASK!”


His wife and I choked on our food….and I suddenly envisaged entire offices of grey suited men sitting at their desks, lol…..slaving over their computers and wearing bloody gimp masks with a female boss cracking the proverbial whip. Yep, it would seem that there are a whole bunch of accountants out there who like that kinda stuff! Isn’t it always the quiet, nerdy ones??

I’ll confess, I used to have a soft spot for Batman….but noooooo, this gimp stuff really doesn’t do it for me. Needless to say, after this little admission over dinner, the next time this guy comes home and complains to my girlfriend of a tough day at work he’ll get absolutely no sympathy….in fact I think she should whip his damn arse!

Anyways, the deed is now done. And after this little tip, I can advise anyone wanting a good rate on accountant fees to investigate the BDSM shop first for cost-effective incentives.

Love ya Mr P……keep up the good work.




Leave a Comment
  1. Hillside / May 18 2012 10:18 am

    I’m an accountant and I had to google a gimp mask. It’s I’d looked further than the email version I could have saved my fingers the effort. Euugghh. A GILF in a GIMP????

    • fruitloopmum / May 18 2012 10:31 am

      Hmmm…..not sure which is worse! Being labelled a GILF is bad enough!!

  2. mojitoqueen / May 22 2012 12:37 pm

    so sad that i actually understood all that…….or else i am one of those weird and perverted people too (not quite!)…..well, you could be onto something there having an accountant whom at least sounds a little bit different to the bespectacled and padded elbow cardi-wearing sort we probably all think of. Hang onto him, bet he can work over your figures !!!! LOL !!!

    • fruitloopmum / May 22 2012 12:49 pm

      Agreed! We don’t do normal around here, especially when it comes to tax returns!

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