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October 11, 2012 / fruitloopmum

Wild Optimism or Total Freakin Madness?

Where’ve I been? What about writing entertaining blogs? Writing about Sex? Finishing that damn novel?

Well, I could regale you with tales of more friggin house moves and witness boxes, but you’d probably all just glaze over and die of boredom. So I’ve decided to do something mad and EXPOSE MYSELF!!

Nope, you’re not gonna get Fruitloopmum in the raw I’m afraid because quite frankly, I don’t think you could stand that kind of excitement and horror. But just this once I thought I’d expose the ongoing undercurrent of my life because it’s topical. It’s in the media AND to my mind the whole domestic violence/children’s rights issue needs exposing!!!

You see, my head and my time have been elsewhere for the past few months trying to fathom out whether I really am quite, quite mad in believing that I can make a difference. And here’s the scenario….I have two little fruitloops in total distress over spending time with their father. It’s heartbreaking to see; to hear the pleading and to know that my ability to do anything to help them is limited. The legal system here in Australia, and certainly their father will say that I’m making this up. That I am in fact MAD as a hatter, LOOPY even and trying to alienate my children from their dad.


I believe that all children deserve to have the love, care and protection of both parents wherever possible. But sometimes life doesn’t work out that way. Something is VERY wrong when my children are so distressed. As a mum, I’d be totally mad if I didn’t try to do something. I’m a FruitloopMUM for chrissakes!!!

Soooo, rather than write blogs or novels I’ve been spending countless hours going over old diaries, opening old wounds and producing distressing affidavits and evidence. And then I’ve had to take everything to court and fought hard to get permission for the little fruitloops to have counselling and ascertain the source of their distress.

Why cant their GP just send them to a counsellor?

Because as any good psycho will tell you…….No-one must know the truth about the havoc they wreck on the lives of others and they will do ANYTHING to ensure that their behaviour is never exposed. This obviously includes blocking (in the name of parental rights) any psychological help for their own children FFS…..

But this particular psycho has chosen the wrong Fruitloopmum to tangle with.

I’m one resilient and stubborn biatch…..although some might call it madness, I prefer to think of  it as mad bravery.

AND when it comes to the wellbeing of my children you’d better NOT MESS WITH ME.

Anyway, it’s not over yet, and, while I’ve been bobbing up and down in a witness-box whilst being interrogated by a self-represented psycho…. stuff about children’s rights and Family Law has hit the media here in Australia and Italy. Today I was sent this email from the National Child Protection Alliance NO WAY OUT BUT ONE which just happens to cover a high-profile case where I’ve been on the receiving end of the same bloody judge!!

And, this link to a new, award-wining documentary trailer bares frightening similarity to the situation I’ve been quietly living for the last few years. Give it a click if you want 2 mins of unbelievable, scary, this could happen to you, shit. I kid you not, because I’m living it.

When faced with life’s harder lessons, this Fruitloop  gravitates towards wild optimism while those around her shake their heads and call me mad. Even my closest friends who know my story, shake their heads incredulously and exclaim “But you must be able to do something surely!?” They have no idea that now, in many countries including this one, the “rights of the father” under family law often supersede the voices of children. And often with disastrous results.

My kids look to me to care for and protect them. So, you tell me….

Am I MAD to have wild optimism and believe in truth and justice and the voices of children?

Or just plain Freakin Mad to be doggedly fighting a Family Law System that has swung too far away from the children it is supposed to be caring for?

Hit the comments box, share the links and re-post  because there are lots of us silently battling what appears to be a very unjust and biased Family Law System where the voices of children are not heard.


It would be nice to think that your comments, shares or re-posts might give some hope and much-needed courage to others who are too scared or intimidated to speak out.


Leave a Comment
  1. liz / Oct 11 2012 6:15 am

    You are not crazy, there are many of us that have/are experiencing the same issues in the Family Court of Aus………………….unfortunately most of the outcomes are truely unbelievable (and ridiculously expensive)

    • fruitloopmum / Oct 11 2012 1:29 pm

      Thanks Liz, it sure is a scary, daunting and expensive journey, and one in which the outcome is never guaranteed. These cases need brought to peoples attention because the current system is failing vulnerable kids.

  2. sydneyside / Oct 12 2012 2:59 am

    Norway is about to set a precedent by amending the law to address just this. So the boat is turning, if not fast enough

    Google translate this for #Hope

  3. TSUJ / Oct 23 2012 8:42 pm

    I sit with a heavy heart knowing that your beautiful children are suffering from such a horrible ordeal. As an avid follower, I feel an intimate connection and can only offer you words of love and compassion. I am going through the same process and I sometimes wonder if my theory of remaining in my child’s life is worth it. Being a father who is trying to develop his relationship with his child over a hyper vigilant mother is testing. Do I understand that she knows what is best and step out of his life or do I continue to build a loving and trusting relationship, even when it seems impossible. To here your child say “I don’t love you daddy because you take mummies money away” or some other lie drives a stake through my already tender heart. I just don’t know… I feel your pain and know the person you are will overcome this dire situation. But please don’t persecute all us daddy’s who are trying to do what we think is right for our child also x

    • fruitloopmum / Oct 24 2012 12:34 am

      Wow, poignant comment TSUJ, thank you. I can only re-interate my own viewpoint here: children need the love, care and protection of both parents whenever possible. Sadly, in many circumstances this is not easy or indeed always possible. My post was not intended to persecute fathers, rather a plea for the system to listen and to HEAR children. Through my own troubles I have learnt to not only listen but hear and then follow my heart. And you know, sometimes that’s a tough, painful route but one that you are unlikely to regret. I would implore you to carefully examine the words your child uses and decide whether they are actually HIS and come from his heart. If not, then your child most definitely needs you in his life to continue to give balance, hope and love.

  4. TSUJ / Oct 24 2012 5:17 am

    I understand, if only your ex husband had a soul! Big kisses and cuddles to your children ❤

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