LOVE…is all

I’m so, so bad. Yes, I do know it’s been far too long between posts. SORRY, OK?

Not that I have delusions of grandeur or anything…and I know that none of you are actually pining for me, but I have had the odd complaining email about the lack of fresh fruit on the site. AND..I have noticed that my regular readers have been getting bored.

I check the Fruitloopmum site traffic you see….and for the last few weeks all I’ve seen are the persistent perverts Googling Vaginal Smoking and Orgasms and Enormous Balls…..and then of course, they find good ol Fruitloopmum by mistake poor disappointed buggers! So….piss off perverts cos Fruitloopmum is back and you wont find any of THAT perverted stuff here….only good old humour, some foul language and odd musings from a slightly loopy woman.

RIGHT….now where was I?

Ah yes, the reason for my absence.

Regular Fruitloopmum fans know all about the psychopath….who is ever-present in the background of my life and can be a BIT of a distraction sometimes..but I had to go to court AGAIN last month to keep him outta my hair (and away from the bottom of my drive)…and then….LOL, he managed to get himself arrested TWICE last week..so I think he’ll be occupied for a little while. Then there was the house move A F***KING GAIN…for the second time in 4 months I have had to move an entire friggin house. Lots of other reasons too, like trying to finish my best seller and get it to an agent….

Then, something happened that I wasn’t really ready for. Something that has changed my world. Last week, in the middle of all the usual Fruitloopmum mayhem, my lovely, lovely dad died.

Which really brings me to the whole point of this post.

AND I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE COS IT’S A BIT OF A RAMBLE…

I am, at present en route to another hemisphere to visit my family. His funeral had to take place before I could get there….on account of the psycho, the house move, small children and several other factors that I wont bore you all with. But, right now I’m on my way to help scatter his ashes and say a few words and to be with the people I love. You see, in between airplanes I wrote a short eulogy to be read in my absence, and my wonderful brother took the reins and did the rest.

This morning I got to read my brother’s eulogy.

In between laughing, crying and reminiscing over scenes from my childhood as I read my brother’s beautiful words, I had a sort of  Fruitloopmum Lightbulb Moment that I just KNOW my dad would want me to share with you all. You see, technically, this man was not my dad, but the man who had lovingly and willingly taken that role for over 40 years….but somehow just forgot to marry the girl he loved…my mum.

But you know what?

IT DOESN’T BLOODY MATTER!!!

This man shaped our lives (my brother and myself ) and as my brother said…

“He taught us the value of honesty, friendship and above all, that it’s ok to be different. Dad was unconventional, but in the best of ways. He did what he felt was right rather than automatically doing what was considered ‘normal'”

Hell yeah….the man was a legend. He used to make his own shoes out of old tyres and bits of string, he taught me how to shin up a tree and make the best bad-arse catapult to fire at my brothers, he’d make friends with almost everyone he met, and his stories and observations could make you laugh till you cried. He shaped our childhoods with love and freedom. He taught us hope, courage and integrity. When he died last week, my brother was there with my mum holding his hand. He knew how much he was loved.

AND THAT’S THE IMPORTANT BIT

It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t our biological dad. What mattered was the love he gave and the love we shared.

This morning, my mind went back to the time a few years ago when I also stared death in the face, and what went through my mind as I felt my body shutting down. See, my life didn’t flash before me, but the one thing that was of the utmost importance to me at that precise moment was this…

“Have I loved enough? Have I made my time here count through showing that love? Am I loved?”

Being a stubborn, difficult and contrary piece of work, I decided that I hadn’t quite loved enough, nor shown it enough and hey, I can always do with more love….so I decided to hang around a little longer and do a proper job of it. Doesn’t matter if it’s family, or friends or strangers. We can all love in a million different ways.

But in the end, it’s love that makes the difference.

THANKS DAD XXXX