Dear Mr Hairyballs…

I was stuck, suffering from writer’s block….and looking for inspiration for my next post. Then it came to me! You see, it would appear that there’s a Fruitloopmum fan somewhere out there going by the name of…. Mr Hairyballs.

NICE.

Or not, kinda depending on your viewpoint .And really, how MUCH hair are we talking about here mate??

Anyways, Mr Hairyballs, whether you resemble Chewbacca down there, or whether it’s just the macho name thing that you’re into, your amusing comments on my posts reminded me of some product reviews that I came across on the net last week.

You see, it would appear that the last 10 years has seen a rise in the number of guys removing hair.  And we’re not talking shaving their legs here. Oh no!

We’re talking about guys discovering what girls have known for some time. Namely that having smooth, hair-free bits not only makes you look and smell better, but that there’s a certain…urm… pleasure to be derived by the exposure of naked skin around the nether regions!

So, those clever, clever marketeers have been marketing hair removal cream for guys. It’s the same suff as women use, different packaging. However the manufacturers have apparently missed one vital point. You see, we all know that not only are guys incapable of asking for directions…..it seems that they can’t follow directions either!

I was to be found crying with laughter at a whole bunch of product reviews written by guys who have decided to try this hair removal cream but ignore the friggin directions!!!!!

Here’s just a small selection of the comments from the product reviews:

“I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless”

“.…my once proud Biggles looks more like the lone equine survivor of a fire at a donkey sanctuary”

And a favourite one that had me wanting to nominate the poor guy for an award in creative writing:

“I decided to get up off the landing carpet, go shower and inspect the results… balanced on one leg in the shower holding a shaving mirror between my legs, and pushing my throbbing nads to one side with the toilet brush, I could see what I can only describe as a Gollum’s head tortured and battered by a Taliban interrogation unit, peering up at me through a single screwed up puffy eye, looking pretty sorry for itself. On closer inspection my two previously furry love-eggs had absconded deep into my body for protection leaving my somewhat forlorn looking scrotum hanging there, like a pelican’s over-filled neck pouch which had been flogged with a barbed wire paddle”

Yep, it seems there’s a whole bunch of men out there who now have wizzened purple balls, rings of fire, and worse. These product reviews contain hilarious descriptions of what happens when you DONT read the directions….currently 31 whole pages of entertainment. So, Fruitloopmum fans…click here and settle down for several hours of entertainment courtesy of men who no longer have hairyballs.

Oh, and my advice to the manufacturers is to take notice of your target market’s profile and communicate accordingly….the instructions should simply read, as one review suggested

“ DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS!“

So, enjoy the reviews, and Dear Mr Hairyballs, thank you for your support and for providing me with some inadvertent inspiration this week!