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April 2, 2012 / fruitloopmum

CLASS….kiss my cute arse!


So, what do YOU do?”

I used to get this question a lot at snobby dinner parties and those bloody awful corporate functions where you’re dragged along as a reluctant guest. Some people just can’t resist can they? Oh yeah, and then there are those who just can’t help themselves and love to oh, so casually, drop into the conversation the fact that they’re an astrophysicist. I mean, please, that’s like dropping a silent, putrid fart in public and hoping that no one will notice that you have a personal problem.

When posed with the question of what I do, I’ve tried variety of answers in the past (depending on my mood) that have produced wonderful responses ranging from giggles, to such total and utter disdain, that I may just has well have farted. I suppose I’m ranting on about this because I find it amusing to observe how we pigeon-hole and often judge people by their occupations. Personally I don’t give a flying rats arse what you do for a living, how much you earn or what friggin socio-economic class you just crawled out of. I’m interested in the person….but, I can tell if I like you by how you react to my occupation.

Once, when I was working ‘under cover’ as a housekeeper/cleaner, I dared to answer a question posed directly to me by my famous employer regarding the global economy. He was so freaking shocked that I was au fait with that day’s GDP figures from Japan, that he spun on his heel muttering something about cleaners knowing their place in life. Excuse me? you f**ker!!…

Yep, for a moment there, this Fruitloopmum forgot that she was just a cleaner who scrubbed shite from this man’s toilet….. Oh, yeah, and who can forget what happened when my mate the teacher beat me to it and announced that I was a stripper? Ooops, if you’re new here or have forgotten, then get a load of  Teachers, Strippers, Judges and Pirates to make you smile.

Anyway, among my immediate friends I am proud to say that I have a Senior Analyst who’s in circus training (love him), a sexy,intelligent Day-Trader who’s worked in a factory squirting jam onto biscuits (love her), a Lawyer who works in a cafe (love her), a Supermum whose father is a Knight of the Realm (no curtseying required), A Rock Star who helps shift furniture and many, many more… They’re the best.

So, do me a favour. Next time you’re introduced to someone new, if they ask what you do for a living….be a bit creative and watch their reaction. You can tell so much about someone who doesn’t bat an eye when you announce that you de-sex mice for a living……and I know someone who does THAT too (lovely girl)

BTW, and because it’s topical I just can’t resist……….. according to his defence lawyer, the Psychopath is apparently “an extremely senior and upstanding consultant” ……So, it would appear that my job this week is a Proctologist. I obviously need to locate a certain someone’s head.


Leave a Comment
  1. Starle / Apr 2 2012 6:39 pm

    Phffft. OK maybe instead of claiming that I “look at cats on the internet” as my occupation, I should be more creative. To paraphrase the great Paul Bettany “I’m a writer. (swish hair) I put pen to parchment!”

  2. Hairy Balls / Apr 8 2012 8:26 am

    This woman is mad but love her work

    • fruitloopmum / Apr 10 2012 12:09 pm

      Dear Mr Hairy Balls, I thank you for your kind comments.

  3. fruitloopmum / Apr 10 2012 12:07 pm

    Dear Starle, I can’t decide whether describing your job as an “internet pussy hunter” will get you arrested. Perhaps safer to stick with putting pen to parchment as you do that swishing movement!

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